for you

A response and elaboration to Heather Anne M.

In the recent post somewhere, out there, Heather Anne commented that she understands that

All opinions are silently preceded with, "Given my knowledge, experience, network of influences, emotional maturity and critical thinking ability" I believe x.

This is a really important distinction to make.


It’s one that a lot of people can get stuck behind.

The same day Heather wrote this, I was driving home from the barn.

I like switching radio stations. Lots.

On this particular day?

Adelle was on four different stations.

Her music is terrible.

I hate every little sound that comes from her blaring throat.

Now, before you go like my entire class in therapy school and start arguing with me about her talent, how she’s inspired you, please bring a simple phrase into your brain:

For you.

So, when I say Adelle sucks donkey balls.

Say to yourself:

For you.

Let me hate Adelle. Let me believe what I want to believe.

It could be something even a bit more idiotic.

I know someone who believes the earth is flat. He tries to convince me that it is.

Do I argue with him?


His belief is for him. It’s not for me.

Does his belief system affect me?

Not at all.

Might it impact others?

Not my business.

Does it impact him?

Likely, and again, that’s for him.

Seth Godin says that one of the most generous things we can do with our work, our art and our love is to know ‘who’s it for?’

When people are critical of what we offer, we can generously say: It’s not for you and move on. They can exist. We can exist.

We don’t need to accept everyone’s opinion.

Tolerance however is the bedrock of a civil life.

Even of those who are intolerable.

Feel free to share this if you like this

And of course if you disagree?

You can simply say under your breath these liberating words:

This point of view is not for me. It’s for you

And move on.