you can never have too much candy

or Sobeys bags these days

Way back in the way back whenz

Way back in the time of single use plastics.

You used to be able to get Sobeys Bags.

Sobeys bags were more than merely a plastic bag from the grocery store. They were durable, high quality plastic bags.

The were used as book bags at school and referred to as the Porters Lake Briefcase.

They could be used for carrying around a wet towel and bathing suit from swimming lessons.

They often were used as breeding grounds to special and unique types of mold and mildew.

Wet things.

Wet things went in Sobeys bags.

Wet things like underpants or dog turds or the snot rags from your bedside after a good long sick.

But alas, these marvels of divination are no longer available.

They’ve gone the way of the straws.

There exists a sort of hidden market for these contraband bags.

I recently was provided with two sobeys style bags filled to the top with single serve red twizlers.

My son and I were animals. A seeming unlimited supply of candy? Let’s see what we can do.

We set upon it day after day eating more and more handfuls of licorice. Midway through the feeding frenzy there was a liull. I felt sick all the time. I got sores in my mouth.

I took a pause.

So did my son and his buddy.

But then, without skipping a beat we went at the pile of candy once agin.

The two Sobeys bags overflowing with single wrapped candies are now empty. The candy is all gone.

It took three weeks to empty the two bags.

The two bags were then used to empty the various garbage cans.

We had enough candy to last a year if we behaved reasonably with it.

But that’s not what candy’s for.

Candy is to be devoured

And no matter what, it’s never enough.

And that’s what I like about candy.

And Sobeys bags were gross too.

And useful and also gross.