Why can't you just...

an update on the impact of my midlife ADHD diagnosis

I knew. For years I knew.

More than a decade ago a couple of other clinicians saw me clearly. They told me to get checked out for ADHD.

I took some online self tests and the results were resounding - I likely had ADHD.

In my arrogance, I brushed these results aside.

This isn’t that big of a deal, I assured myself. ADHD is just a ‘made up thing’, an excuse for not getting stuff done. I’m flawed. I just need to try harder.

Or, I listened to the quacks: More exercise. More time outside. Diet. Meditate. It’s up to you. Do more. And if you can’t get control of yourself? That’s on you. It’s all your fault. Do better. Be better. Try harder.

I’ve tried harder for a decade. I’ve had a therapist for twenty five years now. Between therapy school, supervision, therapy sessions and personal development trainings, I’ve spent tens of thousands of dollars becoming more sensitive and self aware.

My life has improved because of these investments. Despite this, something has always seemed to be just out of …