When you're terrible as a novice

In my years of sportsing the sports, I won medals, trophies and other prizes.

Most of these are lost. All of them are lost actually. All of them except one trophy.

This trophy is the most important award that I have.

Was it for perseverance from completing a marathon or some important task?

Naw. I don’t have the attention span to run marathons. I’d rather surf for 4 hours than run for even ten minutes.

Was it some sort of award or memento from doing something rad in my early adulthood like completing a university degree or sailing on a tall ship.

Naw. Though I do have my diploma.

My most important award is on a base of ‘fine Italian marble’. It is golden and red and about five inches high. Sitting on top is a golden plastic figure of a hockey player - two hands on his stick in a really great hockey stance no less!

There is an engraved plaque on the ‘Fine Italian Marble Base’ It reads:

Novice ‘D’ 1978 -1979

For those of you who have sported less sports that I sported in my days of sportsing a…