when your wife likes sexy time with rain man

in praise of k-mart underpants

As soon as I heard, I called my wife. After speaking, I do believe that her laughter could be heard by anyone within a three block radius.

And?

She wasn’t on speaker phone.

What did I say dear reader that provoked such a response?

Well, I told her about a conversation that I had with a coworker.

He was remarking on how quickly I was learning and moving within our business.

Are you some kind of a savant?

EXACTLY.

He called me a savant!

I was excited, proud even.

But when I told my wife?

She took it as some sort of sign disrespect.

Rain man was a savant.

Rain man? My wife thinks that I’m fucking Rain Man?

I’m not sure who this reflects more poorly on. Is this a dis on me, as someone obsessed with K-Mart underpants or on her as the kind of woman who finds sensual pleasure with a man obsessed with K-Mart underpants.

Well dear reader, I was stumped. Is savant a dis? When I think back to our conversation, there was no sign that this was meant as a show of disrespect. It sounded a bit like grudging admiration: Are you some kind of a savant?

But, perhaps as a savant, I was… well… I don’t… er… didn’t know what the word meant.

I began second guessing myself: What kind of rain man K-Mart underpants loving person am I? Did I miss another social cue? Have I offended people once again? Who is going to come and rake me over the coals and turn me into a scapegoat?

My mind was racing.

When they told me that ‘you’re doing a really good job’ was my response of ‘I know’ the wrong one? I think I said ‘thank you’ first… Well. Maybe… Is everyone here going to hate me (again). Fuck fuck fuck. I’m a fucking savant? What does that even mean?

Well dear reader, my search led me to my favorite dictionary - Etymology online.

And it’s entry for savant confirmed the fact that I should indeed be proud to be a savant:

savant(n.)

"one eminent for learning," especially one engaged in scientific or learned research, 1719, from French savant "a learned man," noun use of adjective savant "learned, knowing," the former present participle of savoir "to know" (modern French sachant), from Vulgar Latin *sapere, from Latin sapere "be wise" (see sapient).

Sounds good eh?

But if only it stopped there.

Usually in the etymology online dictionary the first entry is followed by variations of the primary entry or words related to it.

And this time?

This time is no different.

But this time as I continued to scroll and discover for myself what the word savant meant, it’s primary association left me feeling a bit gobsmacked and soggy. Despite this, I can’t complain. The association with savant in my case is pretty accurate:

idiot(n.)

early 14c., "person so mentally deficient as to be incapable of ordinary reasoning;" also in Middle English "simple man, uneducated person, layman" (late 14c.); from Old French idiote "uneducated or ignorant person" (12c.), from Latin idiota "ordinary person, layman; outsider," in Late Latin "uneducated or ignorant person."

This is from Greek idiōtēs "layman, person lacking professional skill," literally "private person," as opposed to a magistrate or others one taking part in public affairs, also used patronizingly for "ignorant person; unskilled workman." It is from idios "one's own; private" (see idiom).

The Greek noun had many special senses: "a common soldier" (as opposed to an officer), "a prose writer" (as opposed to a poet), in New Testament "an unlearned man." In plural, the Greek word could mean "one's own countrymen."

In old English law, one who has been without reasoning or understanding from birth, as distinguished from a lunatic, who became that way.

Idiot box "television set" is by 1959; idiot light "dashboard warning signal" is attested by 1961. Idiot-savant is attested by 1870.

First dear reader, I do not like that the word idiot gets more emphasis by sheer word volume than the word savant. It’s almost as though the ‘idiot’ part is more important.

And yet?

Even as I read this post to my wife, she’s cackling and laughing. She knows she’s right.

But I am too.

Being a savant?

That’s a compliment.

Being an ‘idiot savant’?

That’s a compliment too. I’m a troll, a lunatic who lacks professional (interpersonal) skills and is fairly guileless much of the time.

While at the same time?

I get obsessed about things and love immersing myself deeply and completely in them.

Learned man? Wise fool? Gentle prick? Arrogant neurotic?

They fit.

Idiot savant?

It works.

So dear reader, this begs the question: When have you received a compliment that was more like an insult?

What insults have you endured that when you think about could be taken as compliments?

This idiot savant is curious and wants to know.