when your neighbours want your eggs

send them shells

Neighbours eh?

Can’t nuke’em.

Pass the beer nuts.

Our neighbours?

They had a lot of opinions about what we did in our backyard.

Happily however, they didn’t have the power of tariffs.

Instead?

When they were pised?

They called the city.

Now that we have chickens, very productive chickens, the best chickens, so many chickens, they are the greatest chickens, chickens so great, you’ll get tired of chickens….

We’ve been giving our eggs to all of our neighbors except those who, funny enough, live just south of us.

There were even some ‘Mexicans’ working at their place the other day.

I sent them home with two eggs each - just to spite the fat man and his wife.

These days it seems our North American neighbours are having some trouble with their hens.

It’s a shame really.

Despite the fact that the orange turnip believes that their house is fine and they don’t need anyone, their country are behaving as you’d expect - they’re begging.

Begging assholes.

Hey Denmark? Can we have Greenland? No? How about some eggs then?

They made some interesting choices recently and they’re just going to have to live with them. It’s enough to make a Canuck want to build a wall to keep them out.

Either way?

No eggs for you!

I’ve been pissed at my neighbours for years for being dicks.

Now with the eggless ones?

The more they suffer the better.

They’ve become that entitled prick at the party who owns the house and bought the beer and expects everyone to be oh so grateful all of the time.

But seriously?

For those non ‘Merican readers here.

When these arseholes come begging for your eggs?

Cockel doodle don’t do it.

Keep your eggs to yourself.

Burry them in a hole.

Let them rot but don’t bail out the pricks with the expensive eggs.

Unless you’re going to throw eggs at their houses.

The White House is white because we Canadians burnt half of it down.

It also resulted in that terrible song they sing before sports games.

Those red glaring rockets?

Canadian.

Anyway, perhaps The White House needs a new look. One that really defies eggspectations.

The Meringue House?

Sounds good to me.

In the meantime?

Buy Canadian eh?