City tours on a bus are fun.
Some hop on, then they hop off.
If you don’t like bad jokes, wait here. There will be another bus in ten minutes.
I’m not for everyone.
And?
With every “when we turn to the left, you’ll see on our right” another joke jumps from my mouth.
Every trip around the circuit is another set. Though the jokes are the same, the approach, location or timing is always changing.
Each run is another chance to make them laugh then cry.
Cemetery story time always brings a few tears.
Every repetition the phrasing gets a bit more tight.
Every signal that we don’t wait at makes the trip shorter. Jokes get tighter, stories more concise.
People shuffle off cruise ships and shuffle onto my bus.
Do you know how much they’re charging us for this excursion? And we had to wait twenty minutes!
Oh how I delight in the complaints.
M’am, two things - one, I’m wearing a name tag. No one who wears a name tag to work has any control at all. I can hear your complaints if you need to eat up all of my time but it’s hilarious if you think that I have a hope in hell of improving the situation beyond listening. And two? I’m a retired psychotherapist, so please, complain away. No one’s getting divorced nor taking their own life if I screw things up.
They tend to slink away with that one.
And when they talk all through my show?
Who do you gentlemen think you are, my wife? If I wanted to be ignored, I’d’ve stayed home.
Crowd work, refinement and constant impish play.
My god I’m going to miss this work when the season is over.
From ten shows a week to nada.
From laughter and folding green money constantly letting me know how wonderful I am to deafening silence.
I’m at a loss of what to do next.
Likely?
I’ll go to shopping malls and try terrible puns and bad jokes that make store clerks uncomfortable.
I might as well preface my appearance with something like this:
I don’t know what joke I want to make right now, but I’m going to take advantage of the fact that you’re an employee and must listen to and put up with whatever cringe inducing bullshit that will make you super uncomfortable as I try out jokes on you, my poor unsuspecting bystander.
Sure, there are those in the world who haven’t signed up for the full Jimmy, but now that I’ve tasted the joys of performing once again?
Watch out world,
The full Jimmy is back.
Woe to all of those wishing to live a serious life without their uncomfortable bodily functions being commented on inappropriately!