When I was younger, pre children, I loved sleeping in on weekends.

Back then, people with pamphlets loved knocking on doors on Saturday mornings.

They were persistent, annoying and difficult to get rid of once I let them in.

I answered the door because the knocking caused a spike in my nervous system.

Who could it be? What do they want? Did something happen? Is it someone I know? Does someone need help?

This was my internal monologue as the anxious energy mobilized itself within my body.

The conversations eventually unravelled and became strained. Finally rid of the the people with the pamphlets, I would be tense and weary. It would be difficult to get back to sleep.

Letting these folks in and listening to their stories did little for me.

Eventually, I peek out the window and see who was there before opening the door.

When I saw the people with the pamphlets, I would leave. If they saw me, I would make dismissive gestures and say ‘shoo’.

I likely could have been more polite.

I decided against that tactic.

Other times, my phone would ring and ring and ring.

My memory was poor. Paying bills on time was not something that I did with any consistency. As such, people from the billing departments of the phone, electricity and gas companies had me on speed dial. I was on a first name basis with the collections departments at one time.

This wasn’t a lack of money issue. This was a lack of memory / being irresponsible issue. In those cases, my stomach would drop and anxious feelings would kick into overdrive.

Answering those calls made the anxiety go away.

There were times back then when my taxes may have been a couple of years late. Once they were in with my accountant, I felt lighter. Once they were processed, I was lighter still. I did not recognize the how powerful the impact of having something significant like taxes hanging over my head was. I didn’t realize how much it was weighing me down.

This is a great lens to look at anxiety through.

Anxiety is a message from your body. Energy is mobilized to ‘do something’.

Sometimes, in the case of the people with pamphlets, the anxiety is little more than a triviality. Engaging with its message has the potential to be annoying or derailing.

Sometimes, it’s a valid message. Do something now before they turn off the electricity.

Or, it might be a low buzz of something buried and not urgent.

When you feel that jolt of panic set into your body, pay attention to that little spike of anxiety. What is it here for? Are you being attacked? Is your life in danger or does someone merely want to spend some time discussing your everlasting soul.

Or, is there something not necessarily life and death urgent, but pressing. Is there any simple action you can take towards rectifying that situation? If so do that.

And, if you’ve been living with something that you believe you ‘should’ deal with but are ignoring, imagine living without that background noise. What would it be like to have some of the big things in order? Can you imagine the peace?

If this, at a felt level, is attractive to you, how can you start?

It’s like the old saying goes:

Never answer the door on a Saturday morning. It’s not for you.