Have you ever tried to free hand draw a circle? Can you do it? If you can, go pound sand you prissy little arse aardvark. We don’t want to know about your well rounded perfection.
It’s difficult to live a well rounded life.
Some suggest that’s the role of a therapist - to help you live a well rounded life. Others say a therapist is there to help square you with the realities of existence.
In the 80’s when it came to being square, Huey Lewis was here to help with his seminal hit It’s hip to be square
I used to be a renegade,
I used to fool around
But I couldn't take the punishment
And had to settle down
Now I'm playing it real straight,
And yes, I cut my hair
You might think I'm crazy,
But I don't even care
Because I can tell what's going onIt's hip to be square
It's hip to be square
Square up, square meals, part of the town square - I swear there are almost infinite ways you could be ‘square’. when I encountered Minecraft, I thought Square at last! Square at last! Thank game in xbox square at last!
But the squareness didn’t last.
Having tried to be both well rounded and square, these ideas are neither easy nor able to coexist.
True ‘squareness’ is really difficult to attain.
When I built my cabin with my dad we squared the rectangular floor frame. You do this by measuring the diagonal distances. They need to be equal. It’ that simple.
We spent hours tapping one place then pulling another then nudging the next. The diagonal distances danced defiantly deviating from our desired destination.
Disappointingly?
Yes. In-deedie-doo.
Dad and I persevered. Though the floor was never perfectly square, we came really close. The diagonals were withing three sixty fourths of an inch of each other.
I figured that was pretty durn good!
A funny thing happens though. Small mistakes amplify over time.
With every sick of wood, and every board for each and every wall we built we were ruthless with our measurements. But despite our best efforts we still made lots of unawares mistakes.
By the time we got to the roof, we had a kind of odd shaped triangle less the most accute angle missing from the roof. It was a four foot length that was over eight inches off square.
What began as a small mistake - 3/64” became an eight inch chunk.
We could have taken it apart one piece at a time and then reassembled the whole thing in an attempt to make the hole less obscene. Given that this would have no detectable impact on the function of the cabin or it’s structural integrity, this would be pure vanity.
Instead?
We did what any fool would do. We cut out another piece to cover the hole. We then covered any trace of a mistake with another layer of function. First the tar paper then the shingles and finally the soffits. Done. No one will know and it does not matter.
None of us are well rounded.
None of us are truly square.
We’re filled with flaws, oddities, asymmetries and defects. If things are really bad, sometime you need to tear into stuff and see where the measurements were wrong and things are screwed up.
Dong that is pretty extreme. Doing that makes a big mess of stuff.
How messy does ‘the rest of life’ need to be before you’re willing to see where the holes and oddities have been covered up by ‘yet another layer’?
How can you tell the difference?
Reminds me of the Japanese practice of kintsugi, where broken pottery is repaired to highlight the breaks and cracks, not cover them…