watch your step

Dallings win

When we go to the mall we always park at The Bay.

My dad has his favorite spot there. My mom does too.

These days, most people seem to park at the other end - down by Winners or the Soft Moc and Decathlon stores.

As we were making our way back to the car through menswear, we ran into another of endless people my father has known forever.

Hey there Jimmy!

Hi Greg, this is my son Jimmy. What are you up to?

I’ve got to get my haircut. I’m heading to Florida and you’d think they’d let me in looking like this?

I couldn’t help myself. I had to speak.

You think a haircut is going to help?

Greg froze a minute. Just as he was about to speak my dad cut in.

Sure they can cut your hair, but that face? Come on Greg.

A rueful smile spread across his face.

My god, there are two of you? I don’t stand a chance here.

I can’t take the winters anymore Jimmy. I hate them. Lisa? She doesn’t mind though. I’ve been to Florida six times this winter alone!

My dad wasn’t impressed by his bronzed buddies bragging. Lisa lets you go that much? What a wife!

Lets me go? She encourages me to go.

I cut in again: Encourages you to leave? Is anyone here surprised?

Then my dad piped in: Lisa’s still working isn’t she?

Geeze yes Jimmy. When I retired from financial advising, I’d socked away enough to keep us in money for a hundred years. You know what she did? She went to work full time. She’s there at the Lumbermart right now. Doesn’t have to work. She just loves going there every day.

My dad and I looked at each other then he spoke.

So, you’ve got all the money in the world and as soon as you retired, she went to work fulltime?

Then it was my turn: You were finally going to be home all the time and she decided to get a full time job? Not surprising.

Then my dad:

Can’t say that I blame her.

Jeezus Christ Jimmy - and Jimmy - there are two of you. I don’t stand a chance here.

Don’t worry Greg, I thought to myself, no one does.

I felt a warm glow wash over me knowing that when it comes to being a jackass, I come by it honestly.

Watch your step around me and my dad.

Dallings win.