watch out for the gramma(r) llama

it wants to bite off your ding dong

What do you do when you encounter sheep?

I once helped a stray ewe back into her stall.

We were at Ross Farm - one of those jazzy little historical reenactment farms with coopers and a stone mill and oxen and the like.

Hippie shit.

The ewe had slipped from her pen and was in great distress. I wanted to help.

To do this? I found the opening then made the ewe experience even more distress by running around and waving my hands and shouting. I would have put on Paranoid by Black Sabbath but I didn’t have a ghetto blaster.

She bucked and bolted, ran and bleated until finally she found the hole and was safe with her flock.

Then, I closed the door behind her.

That was satisfying.

Sheep are very satisfying.

This wasn’t my only encounter with sheep.

No, it’s not what you think.

I’ve never been a lonely Scotsman, slipping the sheep’s back legs into my wellies to keep them still and vulnerable.

I’ve never been to Scotland you dirty perverts.

I just really like sheep.

Not like a Scot likes sheep though.

With …