Wanting what you have
makes this incredible.
Just after dark,
I took out the trash and the compost bins.
The inside of the trash bin featured a bag tied to the top of the can and was half filled with dog shit.
I put some more Rodney droppings inside and tied it off. As I did, a random piece of dental floss caught the back of my moist fingers.
My skin crawled so much it ran away join the circus. It was last seen. Heading north towards Truro on the one oh two.
I wiped my hands at the base of the tree that resides between the sidewalk and the street.
The grass was moist.
This I did before remembering that this particular spot on this particular tree?
That’s where my dogs love sending and receiving pee mail the most.
First the turds, then the floss all finished off with a handwash in dog piss.
To my credit, it was at this time I decided that it was not a good moment to bite at that nagging piece of hangnail that was just driving me insane. Sure, I had my had almost to my mouth as I fought the impulse for several seconds. Successful in my resistance, I would wait to do that much later, once my hands were well washed.
As I walked down the driveway I could picture the garage I wanted to build someday. There, I could sit in a chair with the door open at night listen to the rain. I sighed a big sigh as I thought to myself, I want…
Oh how I want.
My thoughts trailed off and my heart swelled in my chest. My body connected with the Earth. I thought about the people inside that house. The ones who make the mess. Those people with their dental floss and hair and shoes and farts and stinks. Those people who’s shoes mix smells with my own such that our front entry greets our guests with the smell of teen boy feet, garden mom and boots that spend a lot of time traversing manure filled paddocks.
Desire looks out. Desire draws us forward.
I turned my desire to what I have.
I thought about the garage of my dreams and saw the willow tree. For the garage to be built, the willow tree would have to come down. I looked at the willow tree with its ropes and swings and birds and bugs and my kids crawling all over it and I sighed.
“I want this”.
All of this.
This is wonderfilled.
This is brilliant.
This is all we have and all we need.
What is this for you?
What is the thing you’ve always wanted and that you already have?
Give this a good squeeze.