Upon entering a grocery store

There is only one person you need to see

The meat manager!

That’s correct.

The meat manager.

They are the supreme ruler of the grocery store.

They manage the meat

Fresh meat?

They manage it.

Smoked meat?

They manage it.

Frozen meat?

You betcha. They manage frozen meat too.

So much meat to manage. So much to manage all this meat. It’s a fleshy burden. Marbled and ready to grill. In the domain of meat management, the steaks are high. If you don’t perform, you’re roasted.

Tenderloin?

These jokes write themselves.

THE MEAT MANAGER! I ROAR AT THE CLERK WHO ASKS IF I’M LOOKING FOR SOMETHING

THEMEATMANAGERTHEMEATMANAGERTHEMEATMANAGER GRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOAOOAOOAOAAAAARRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!

I can see the scene unfolding before my eyes:

Me: Are you the meat manage?

Them: (curt nod)

Me: Do you manage the meat?

Them: (curt nod)

Me: Allllllll the meat?

Them: (curt nod)

Me: Well then. I’ve been waiting all my life to say this to you:

Hell Meat Manager, it’s my pleasure to meet you.

…

you see what i did there?

well.

at least was trying to do.

If I did something…

But that?