traveling is for chumps

true luxury lies in your own bed

Today, I’ll be blunt.

(as though this is any different from yesterday)

Aging has changed me.

I used to lay in bed lolling as long as I could.

There wasn’t an alarm I couldn’t sleep through nor a job I didn’t want to be late for.

Breakfast of champs?

Naw.

Breakfast was for chumps.

I lived on coffee at work, bread from the bread station and the olives that were for the martinis.

Life as a waiter was not without calories.

I just had them in liquid form.

Daily.

Each shift ended with a three pint minimum.

We did this six nights a week.

I’d like to say it was all a big glorious adventure, but most of it is a haze of booze and unrealized ambitions.

There is however a maximum number of beers one can drink before being caught fully in the grip of alcoholism.

Thanks to my COVID vaccine which nearly killed me, I quit drinking.

Though some may debate the efficacy of the vaccines, it worked for me. I haven’t touched liquor since then.

But as a younger man?

I’d sleep late and stay up later.

I had the full runway of my life in front of me.

Everything was potential. I could save the world?

Or be funny?

Or… save the world by being funny!

That’s it! I could change humaninty in a clown nose.

Only, my mantra wasn’t full send! It was maybe tomorrow when this hangover clears up.

Between the bullshit jobs and the booze it was easy to look around and see the pain and corruption of society. Did you know how bad the indigenous people have it!

My pseudo left wing rants existed merely for show. The sweet baby Jebus couldn’t have been more fucking sanctimonious than me. I was going to change the world with a clown nose - only next week - I’ve guests visiting and we have beer to drink.

Now a days?

I wake up before my alarm.

I try to lay in bed and get some rest but these days? I’m truly restless.

I can see how my parents generation - now in their seventies are aging. Knees stop working, chronic illnesses get worse and hearing aids?

They seem nearly ubiquitous at family gatherings.

These days I get up with a motor that won’t stop.

I feel urgent to get shit done.

Perhaps I feel a bit of regret and I’m making up for lost time.

Perhaps I just have ass worms and when I’m moving I don’t notice them.

Or?

Perhaps I’ve come to appreciate the time that’s left.

I dunno dear reader.

But it might not be appreciating the time that’s left.

Because by the end of the day, I’ve no desire to stay up late and explore cities and expand worlds.

I have no desire to travel and meet new people.

Naw.

By the end of the day, I’m fucking sick of that shit and all I want to do is crash out in my own fucking bed.

Travel is for chumps.

And true luxury?

Crashing out in clean sheets while the sun’s still up.

Stay lazy you fools.