Tools make me excited

and workbenches send me into a tizzy

I have a confession to make, dear reader.

I have a problem, an addiction, an illness of sorts.

I start with just one video, then the next thing I know, the day is gone.

I can’t seem to help myself.

And because of this problem?

I’ve been paralyzed.

You see, dear reader,

I am a porn addict.

I am addicted to workbench videos.

I am addicted to workbench porn.

I cannot stop watching it.

Whilst some are addicted to watching buggery, I’m addicted to watching joinery

I spend hours on either YouTube or the Lee Valley website attempting to create the perfect workbench in my mind. I imagine prices vs features and what size will work best in my 10 x 12 space.

I’ve spent endless hours imagining the right vibe, clamps and holdfasts. I’ve read reviews on hatchets and chisels.

i did all of this so that I could optimize my shed for wood carving.

I did this instead of doing the carving itself..

So today?

I had an idea.

Instead of spending four moar hours trying to finish off my shaving horse, I simply dug out some slab wood and started going at it with the draw knife.

The rug on the floor of my shed was quickly covered with shavings. That covering soon turned to a pile and before I knew it, I was ankle deep in joy.

Handy YouTube ‘how to videos’ are not there to help me whittle funny looking fish.

Handy YouTube ‘how to videos’ are there to help keep me watching more Handy ‘how to videos.’

At some point dear reader?

Ya gotta choose.

Are you going to go and make that fucking thing with the shit you got?

Or,

Are you going to spend your life building the perfect in your mind?

Get whittling you fools - nothing quite like a sharp knife in the dick to cure one of wanking eh?