Tool Storage

for stool tourage

Another wet fall weekend, another day cleaning out my basement.

And of course dear reader, another post about getting things in order.

I’m not going to meander much today.

Instead?

Whilst organizing tools, I was writing on bins with a big black sharpie.

One, where the intended label was Tool Storage I wrote: Stool Tourage.

I must be getting desperate for guide work if I’m taking people on Stool Tours.

Who would these people be?

Perhaps one could be a tour guide. Or perhaps a travel writer who has created a directory of the world’s best places to destroy a public restroom with enough shit to drown an elephant.

Another?

Another might be some world bank or UN higher up who inspects sewage treatment plants.

But more than likely?

The tour would be filled with the kind of guys who love to get pooped on.

Could you imagine them out as a group in public. Walking around, just sniffin’. Someone farts in the crowd and they’re on all fours, panting.

A seagull flies overhead and they all run under it hoping beyond hope that it poops on them.

These weirdos are out there.

I once sold a wetsuit on one of the social media apps market thing.

I made a joke about how it had been peed in but washed out.

And some dude messaged and asked how much for me to wear it again, pee in it then sell it to him.

But that, dear reader is a story for another day.

And remember?

If you ever find yourself organizing your tool storage for stool tourage and smiling?

You must love shitty work.