This is a Remarkably Foolish Skill
Obviously
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Once upon a time there was an emperor who wanted to look good.
The emperor spent a bunch of cash on a something that made them look foolish.
It was as though they were walking down the street naked.
Unfortunately a child spoke up and pointed out the emperor was naked.
The child?
The child was blamed, put into counselling and provided with medications to prevent them from seeing and to remove the impulse to speak.
Eventually they went on to a successful life as a regional manager of several seven elevens.
Stating what’s obvious is a remarkably foolish skill.
It has a tendency to backfire.
The ‘child who sees and speaks freely’?
They get blamed
They become the scapegoated.
We need more of these children, not less.
We need more people who can develop the ability to state the obvious. We all can acknowledge what actually is happening from one moment to the next.
How many places do we pretend that what we’re experiencing isn’t really happening?
How do we trick ourselves by ‘trying’ or ‘planning on’ or ‘not liking’ something.
These tricks? the obvious things:
Trying to means not doing
Planning on means not doing
and
not liking some aspect of yourself does nothing to change the fact that the thing you don’t like still exists.
It’s considered both rude and puerile to point out obvious things like: Hey you’re not accepting the fact that I’m saying no to you.
These reasonable and obvious truths? Somehow unacceptable to speak.
So. How can you develop the remarkably foolish skill of staying rooted in ‘what is’ and stating obvious, uncomfortable truths?
One Derful Thing
Call things the wrong name.
Right?
Make other people state the obvious with you.
Put on your ovens when going outside.
Sign your name with a marimba.
Leave the seat down and flush the rhododendron when you are finished.
The child who speaks out doesn't know he is being brave. He doesn't realize he is not conforming. He is wondering what the f is wrong with everyone else.
But nonconformity is just another way of saying being authentic...or perhaps ...being willing to be authentic. You can't be authentic and conform.
I think higher self-esteem leads to a greater tendency to nonconformity. I have always had a soft spot for unusual people and my fondest wish for my children was they wouldn't be "normal" ie average. That they would be extraordinary some how, in their own way, be themselves so intensely that they knew who they were and would never succumb to the urge to conform.
Be careful what you wish for.
Seriously, they are nonconforming and they are extraordinary. I modeled this behaviour. I must do a good job. My son frequently looks at me like I am a zoo exhibit.