The Wilderness Misadventures of a Cultural Heretic

From Pasta to Pallino

What? You’re planning on doing that? What the hell is wrong with you Dalling?

Gino wasn’t impressed.

I’ve had some banger ideas in the past. This one though, this one offended his cultural sensibilities and an Italian man.

He didn’t mind my ‘pasta sauce from a can’ that much.

A manja boy like you? Enjoy your manja cake with your pasta and ketchup.

And when I showed up with Maxwell house coffee, he showed me mercy.

Is this shit decaf? No? Then I’ll let you live - but don’t push me. Don’t EVER do this to me again.

And when I mock his beloved Azuri, his current disgust with the state of Italian football kicks into a new level of derangement - not at me but at: those treacherous scumbags who should be ashamed to return to their communities or look their mamma’s in the eye.

But my latest idea that touched his culture?

That was a bridge too far.

What kind of back woods hill billie bastardization of the world’s greatest past time? Stare dentro pally! Stare dentro!

?

Stay inside the lines you white flo…