I will begin this post not with a trigger warning, but instead with a trigger promise. My goal here is to either trigger laughter or offense. My target: Pet parents. If this is you and you’re sensitive about this subject, I offer you three choices.
One: Turn away meow. I’m going to be as mean as I can be. If you don’t think you’re up to the task, look away.
Two: You’ve got thick skin and you know me well enough to like me despite the fact that I’m an asshole. In that case, read on, have a laugh at your own expense. I value your sense of humour and gold spirit.
Or 3? You are easily offended. You seek offense in the world and you want something to get angry about. If it wasn’t about this, you’d be sticking up for fat people or palestinians, or jewish people or vegans. If that’s the case, I hope that I can unleash your wrath such that you kick a yuppie somewhere somehow today.
With the disclaimer out of the way, let us begin…
The scent of my wife still hung flagrantly in the air, she was ha…
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