The opposite of depression
On the way to work
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Listening to one podcast or another, the person being interviewed stated that the opposite of anxiety and depression wasn’t connection, it was purpose.
First reaction? I puked in my mouth a little bit. I’ll admit, that the bile did rise a little bit. I had forgotten that I take such foolishness very seriously. The opposite of anxiety and depression is not connection or purpose. The opposite of anxiety and depression is play.
In my office, every day, I’m searching for the way to find play. Sure, there’s loads of shit to sort through. There are piles of garbage on the way. And? At it’s core, the work is to help people remember how to play.
Play is the willingness to be curious of, generous towards, and engaged with the field of experience around us. Anytime that we resist within play, those times that we hold back? In Gestalt terms, they might call it functional retroflection. This foolish term simply means knowing when to keep your mouth shut.
In the land of the fool? It’s called playing in major and in minor. If this were jazz, we’d know when it was our turn to let our voice shine. Playing in clown? We learn how to find moments of playing differently. Even when we’re playing with our mouths shut? We fools always have some game afoot.
But there’s a difference between holding back while still in the game and retiring from action all together. When we withdraw, those are the forces of depression. Our self removal as a reaction to our fear of what could happen? It keeps us safe. Free from pain, criticism, feeling. This safety keeps us numb and alone.
Let’s change the script. The opposite of depression isn't connection. That's a byproduct. And the opposite of depression, isn't happiness. That's a byproduct. And the opposite of depression, isn't purpose. That's a byproduct. The opposite of depression is play. It's engagement. Once we start to play we have more moments of happiness. Once we start to play, we can finally get lost enough to find our purpose.
Through play, we develop the ability to surf the mounting waves of nervous system excitement and activation. We learn to adaptively attune to the changing circumstances that unfold before us within the field of existence., The field of existence? Life - as you experience it. This place that we're kind of moving through right now…
How did we get her?
One Derful Thing
Play requires permission. An agreement between the players. An accomplice. Someone with whom to be as thick as thieves with. A playmate.
How do you find this person?
They are whom ever you are with. This partner? They are the best partner.
Why? Because they are with you and ready to play.
Congratulations. You’ve found them.
Oh?
You haven’t?
Well then.
Perhaps it is time to go looking.
Here is one way to try to find them.
When you are interacting with another human being try saying this:
Knock knock
If they reply with “Who’s there” you’re well on your way. Now? you see if they are ready to play ‘break the joke’. Reply to their question randomly. ie: Desk lamp. This prompts their reply of ‘Desk lamp who?’ with something utterly absurd: Desk lamp who farts with a magnificent luminescence.
Then? If they’re game? Start it again:
Knock knock.
Repeat until they join or decide to lick 9 volt batteries instead.
Heather, love your comments here. When work is something we love, the play just happens... Is all play creative? No. And, the question that I like more is whether it is a finite or an infinite game. Are we playing to keep it going or to dominate. I love that you're here.
I use the word play a lot. "I have assigned three questions for you to play with." and I refer to challenging questions as "fun". This isn't manipulative. It is a reflection of my love for my area of expertise. Within it, I am always at play and I want to share the wonderland with those who find it fun too. Not everyone in the room enjoys it. That's okay. It's not the Hotel California, if you have checked out you can leave knowing this isn't the playland for you.
I have been lucky enough to have several areas of high engagement in my life, areas that become creative wonderlands for my mental and physical energy. I don't recall ever being bored. Not interested...sure...open a corner of my mind and woosh...instant entertainment. I work with young people who are usually seeking high engagement for their work life. They are so intent on finding it, they forget to play.
I tend to use the word creativity as the opposite of, or gentle movement away from, depression. Play is creative. But is all play creative? When we create at work, we use playful terms...except for brain storm...hate that term...idea storm...yes, that's better, because brains are supposed to be smart and ideas can and are often silly. Silly ideas are the root of genius...and that's the hope with brain storming...genius ideas.
Early childhood educators refer to activities with few rules as creative play. They know that is the sweet spot for childhood learning, happiness and the state of flow....where time passes without being felt. We are just children with adult responsibilities. I don't like being called an adult, and don't get me started on senior.
I insert as much creative play in my day as possible. That's why I read your stuff.