the mustache is not to blame

Growing a mustache like any change in life sets things off balance.

Growing a mustache can impact your relationship with some people. Take for example, the peewee hockey team that I've been assistant coaching this year. They started calling me “Ned Flanders.”

Hey Flanders, Tie my skates Flanders, Flanders, indeedely dodeler. Chickens love roosters, geese love ganders, everyone else loves Ned Flanders. Hey Ned, tie my skates!

“No.”

I told them I thought it was great; “You call me Flanders. He's terrible. So boring. But at least he’s nice.” I continued, “That must mean that you guys think that I’m nice.”

“No coach. We don't think you're nice. We think you're an asshole. You’re an asshole with a mustache who sings like Tom Petty and looks like Ned Flanders. My mom figures you’re the worst.”

“And you think I’m an asshole?”

“Of course we do. You make us tie our own skates”.

After a moment’s reflection I replied:

“I won’t argue with that”.

The kid said something about his fingers hurting because pul…