the holy hand grenade of touch
the holy hand grenade of touch
on men hugging awkwardly
He looked at me awkwardly.
I don’t usually do this but..
This happens a lot with men.
One moment we’re finally leveling with each other emotionally then the next?
We’re fumbling around that holiest of hand grenades - touch.
It’s like some dudes are so afraid of something, it’s like if we hug we either turn into a banana shaped martian with herpes or, you know… sexytime.
To all you dudes who have awkward hugs with other dudes: ARE YOU WORRIED ABOUT SEXYTIME CREEPING INTO YOUR RELATIONSHIPS IF YOU HUG WITHOUT RESERVATION?
Did every person you hug end up spending sexytime with you?
If so, that’s a hell of a record and yikes do not tell me about your childhood, I’m leaving that therapy world behind.
Touch is so taboo these days. And with good reason. It’s been abused. Asking for consent to touch and be touched is being left to chance less and less. This takes away from spontaneous touch.
While images in the west have become hypersexualized, touch has become increasingly evil. Every little nuance or approach can be mistaken for an assault. The puritans never left, they’ve just become more insipid.
Touch many people? Not much
Aside from paying for touch - from a massage therapist you perverts -
But besides paying for touch, how much touch do you have in your life?
What can you touch?
Who do you touch and I don’t mean with your art or your tears or your blog, but what physical bodies do you touch?
Take a look at your ‘friends lists’ or contacts.
Who are you most ‘in contact’ with?
Who do you touch the most?
How do you touch them?
How can you seek and tolerate more touch based experiences in your life?
(as opposed to visual ones like reading this foolsletter)
Go, touch things. Touch animals.
Touch people?
Be careful!
That can be touchy!
Good luck
And may you feel more at ease with yourself every day.
Hell, if you’re feeling particularly brave, initiate a hug. Make that request.
Be bold with it.
Rejection hurts the same either way
.
I live in Germany.
Hugs are normal here, all the time, greeting or departing.
In Halifax I met an old friend and invited him to a hug.
He complied and then refused to let go.
It was like a theater game, at lunchtime in a restaurant.
Harmless enough, it did end eventually and it’s good to remember that a hug is a lowering of defenses.
The departing hug was normal.