the holiday party with proctologists

on finding inner grit with a finger in your bum

It’s the holiday party for the local university proctologists. Pretty standard gig, you should be fine.

That’s what I was told earlier that day. My boss knew that my wife was in cancer treatment at the time. Neither one of us knew what the proctology department holiday party would be like in reality.

It was a jovial gathering of dorks. Everyone there was a dork. The planners, the admin staff, the residents and of course the doctors were all dorks. I reckon that next to sex workers, there are few people on this earth who have put more fingers in more assholes than these folks.

If cardiologists have their fingers on the pulse of a nation, the proctologists have their fingers on the assholes of the nation. Every HR firm should hire a proctologist when it comes to screening potential new employees as no one knows assholes like proctologists.

I’m joking right now about these folks. Their jokes that night? They were a lot worse. It was a night filled with irreverent cancer jokes. The jokes were…