The G.O.D. Squad

goods on delivery

Ever taken a pay cut?

Oh dear reader, have I ever taken a pay cut!

I’m now working as a driver’s helper for a major delivery company during their Christmas rush.

I’m adding incremental value as part of a commodity service.

I earn as much in a day as I did as a therapist in two hours.

I’m a widget and so is he.

He?

Oh,

He’s my driver.

‘My driver’…

Right?

I may be making earning marginally more than minimum wage, but like Mick Jagger, I have a driver.

He’s like a vocational butler.

He tells me how to log in and out and in again after breaks.

He’s shown me what to do with little things that you hang on the door to say tough shit motherfucker, you didn’t get your package today.

You know want I mean dear reader?

Those sucks to be you stickynotes from a delivery driver?

I’ve been riding around the countryside in a really uncomfortable chair dropping sucks to be you sticky notes on people’s front doors.

It’s so fucking fun!

I’m a cog in the machine working in one of the friendliest places on earth.

I’m dismi…