Beets
Potatoes
Cabbage
A turnip.
Parsnips.
Pumpking
Squish
Kale.
Fennel.
I like some of these veggies.
Others?
They were included.
We subscribe to food from a farmer.
That’s fine when we’re in the prime time of summer.
Right now, with the earth bursting with overripening bounty, bound to be bottled but running out of time, more veggies every Wednesday makes me think that we don’t so much as buy food to eat as we are actually employees who pay to participate in a carbon supply chain.
The farmer grows the veggies and puts them on a truck and drives them to the sourdough bakery.
We drive to the dough bakery to pick up the veggies.
We put them in the fridge.
On the first couple of days we eat the tip of the iceberg of what we’ve received. Think of it as a ‘greatest hits’ approach to eating the food you’ve paid for.
Naw. I don’t think we’ll eat all of it, but this good stuff? It really needs the backdrop of rotting zucchini and swiss chard slime to make it taste even better.
These veggies, there to play a supporting role to the tasty bits? They go through the trip into the house then finally ending up in the compost bin which gets hauled away by a garbage truck (more gas?) to eventually be turned back into organic compost - and this compost ges sold back to farmers as fertilizer.
Some things don’t really wilt. They never seem to get eaten and they never go away.
I’m talking about beets.
In every farm box there are always beets.
Beets are problematic.
In my house we all have very short food memories.
This is bad when you eat a lot of beats.
No one needs that kind of panic on a daily basis.
How long does one need to be reassured with the phrase No honey, it was probably just he beets before one can have a game of angry birds without turning to Chat gpt with pictures of poos and a LOT OF IMPORTANT QUESTIONS?
In these cases beets are just the wrong veggie.
This does not go well with the hippie farmers we subscribe to.
They grow a lot of beets.
My dad used to grow a lot of beets too.
Why the beets? What’s up with this?
Is there some secret farmer conspiracy?
We’ll convince them that their entire guts are falling out of their assholes by feeding them beets!
Tin foil hat moment:
The organic farm subscription box farmers are in league with the proctologists. You blow out blood red runners and suddenly you’re helping a man earn. a living by sticking a tube up your arse and taking a couple of quick pictures - just in case.
The farmers create the doubt, the proctologist asuages the fear. It’s a perfect partnership.
We got a fresh bag this past week.
I took out the month old beets and put the new beets in the place the beets go to shrivel up and die.
Instead of taking the beginning to shrivel paper bag filled with beets directly to the compost pile, I just started chuckin’ the beets into the back yard.
They were chuckin’ beets
And the chucking beets had a cluckin’ target.
They were chicken chuckin’ beets - beets for chuckin’ to1 chickens.
And that is why we now have pinkish coloured chickens.
Well. White with pink spots.
So, just remember these words to live by
Don’t believe the hype!
Chickens are terrible at dodgeball.
or at. Well more at than anything really. But by making that joke here, i solve a problem later.