the chicken coop commuter
a new bike for a dirty old man
It’s new bike day!
In reality?
It’s ‘new to me’ bike day - an old bike made new with a new chain, repurposed derailleur, shifters, cables grips, seat and the like.
I may have spent a hundred dollars on it.
But it was in the hands of Zeke and it feels new.
It’s my commuter bike - a humble steed created to ride to and from work at my new gig in the arse end of the arsehole city of Halifax.
There’s a place called the ‘peninsula’. Around eighty thousand people live there but if you’d listen to many of them you’d think you’d fallen into the centre of the cuntiverse.
It’s where all of the fancy people - the management class live.
I’m over in Dirty Dartmouth - where they put the blue collar and cannon fodder.
Anywho - this bike that is new?
It’s kinda like a chicken coop of bikes.
The best chicken coop are built with all of the left over scraps of wood and bullshit you find in your yard.
Why?
The damn thing is just getting covered in chicken shit. Within five years you’re going to want to set it on fire and build a new on no matter how nicely you build it.
This bike?
It’s a collection of spare parts held together with pirated bolts and an aluminium can turned into a shim so the seat post fits the tube.
Some people like to think they’re living a life of conscious design. It’s though they make plans and execute them beautifully.
You’ll see those saps on instagrasam and tickety boo boo pretending that they’ve got their shit together - like life for them is like those brand new bike shop bikes.
In reality though?
We’re all a fucking chicken coop just waitin’ for the fire.
Happy commuting you fools.
(note: this is not the chicken coop commuter. This is the clown bike. I have yet to photograph the chicken coop commuter. I’m waiting for Laura to make me some stickers for it. Once done, I’ll write about that because that bike has a name. The bike in the photo here? It’s called Pepe)
Pepe was created by my buddy who is a pedal phile.
He just loves bikes so much!