the backyard pecking order

and the scapegoat's superpower

The little one’s the best hunter.

She had to be. The biggie of the flock, Jellybean used to peck the shit out of all the others when the grain came out.

Blacklicorice was second in the order. Theother and Two would eat their fill as well.

But Petunia? None of Jellybean, Blacklicorice or the other two would let her eat.

A chicken’s gotta do what a chickens gotta do.

So jaknow what Petunia did?

She ate worms, grubs, maggots and beetles.

Daurn bird can snatch a fly clean outta the sky when she times it right.

Sounds gross eh?

For me. Yes, this is gross

For you? Perhaps. I am uncertain about your dining habits.

But for chickens?

This is prime rib cooked medium rare and served with a whole bunch of other yummy stuff that I won’t even type up because if I do I won’t write anymore but will be forced to eat myself to death on an impulse.

Phew.

Glad we dodged that one…

And Petunia dodged too.

She’s still the runt.

Jellybean is still a word that rhymes with runt.

Jellybean’s the bully with three other chickens convinced to do her bidding.

And Petunia?

Well.

After she gets sent away, she always finds a new place to scratch.

And when she scratches?

She always seems to find something delicious.

Don’t worry about the fact that they’re eating your lunch. They can have your leftovers

Enjoy your supper. By the time they notice you and begin to peck you down?

It’ll be time for your midnight snack.

shadow warning

That was a pretty good ending eh? Well, I’m impulsive and lacking both a filter, editor or good judgement, what follows is some dark humour created to jolt, disturb or upset. Please disregard if you liked that last bit as an ending.

And if they die first?¹

You might not want to eat them.

But the worms that show up very quickly?

Petunia will enjoy.

(withmuchgusto)

1. This is where I go too far. I would like to stop myself but there’s a part of me that just delights in the darkness, that draws such foul pleasure from shadowy, uncomfortable humour that goes to far. This is one of the things that makes me such a difficult person - I feel compelled to offend people and push them away. I don’t know if it’s a matter of I can’t stop , or I don’t want to stop, but compulstion, the almost instinctual desire to push people back and away from me and to make space with dark humour that pushes peoples buttons is always present when I meet new people.

I have to force myself to not be offensive. I don’t care what I have to do, I am always hyper aware of how I could or can offend any person at any moment of time.

What’s worse?

I always want to do it, ya know

I just wanna see how they react.

I get a big thrill out of it.

It may be one of my most thrilling and damaging addictions.

I used to be ashamed of this.

Now?

Just a bit sad.

I don’t think this is something that I am willing to put efforts into changing any more.

So!

Now you’ll get the choice!

I’m now creating ‘shadow alerts’ for people who don’t want to witness the more sick and twisted jokes that come up while I write.

Why?

Because I hope there are some people who will think that a chicken eating maggots from her sisters corpse is a funny image that they want to shudder to think of.