Working as a tour guide doing excursions, I meet a LOT of Americans.
And?
I gotta say, all y’all are pretty damn nice.
Really.
The ‘Mericans I’ve met this summer have been really great - across the board.
I think for a long time the notion that ‘Mericans were rude, pushy and entitled may have been deserved.
These days though, most of y’all I’ve met here in the best part of the best part of the world, have sounded a lot more like Canadians than many Canadians.
The first thing I’m hearing from so many ‘Merican guests?
We’re so sorry…
Colour me a forgiving man, but as my nanny once said there’s only ever been one perfect person. He was here so you don’t have to be. Just do your best.
And all these ‘Merican visitors I meet?
They’re all just doing their best - their best to be loved, their best to stay curious and their best to be gracious and generous guests up here in the Great White North.
Who knew, eh?
So thank you Prime Minister T-rump for making ‘Mericans act so much more like us Canucks.
I kinda knew that all y’all had it in ya.
Today was not unlike other days, riding the buses and giving the tours.
I had at least two ‘Merican ladies in tears. We’re so sorry. I voted for him. I had no idea…
This fool’s response? Shhhh. It’s ok. You’re loved.
Big hugs, my dear reader, my kindness was repaid in big hugs.
But also?
Prime Minister T-rump’s actions have been lovely, truly beautiful in their indirect impacts on Canada.
Whether it’s the violent rhetoric of us becoming the 51st state or the absurdity of Lake America, Canadians are united - BIGLY!
I keep meeting people from across Canada who greet me with the following message - We’ve always wanted to come East. We used to go down south, but now, we just want to see all of Canada.
It’s not merely about the investment of Canadian dollars in Canadian tourism. We’re experiencing something bigger than this. People are discovering our country and taking pride in what it means to be Canadian.
The people from Quebec that I’ve had the pleasure of conversing with all summer have spoken glowingly about Canada with the kind of pride that was unheard of thirty years ago.
If George Grant were alive today he’d smirk at how Canadian culture is flourishing in the face of this existential threat.
At the same time, he’d also likely roll his eyes at the technocrat we’ve been blessed with. Lord Protector, Mark Carney is a brilliant man. Shrewd, cunning and apparently, a real motherfucker to work for.
Even better, he’s finally found the cure for ‘the Canadian disease’. Blessed with resources that are beyond comprehension, we’ve never had either the political will to fully develop them nor the inclination to do anything more than dig them and sell them to ‘Merica. The ‘Mericans would then add value and sell them back to us at five times the cost.
Though there are aspects of the ‘Building Canada Act’ which may be seen as unconstitutional. We’re centralizing the review process, spending less time consulting indigenous people and having eco reviews litigating every inch of development into the next decade. Provincial rights are being trod upon.
It’s all well and good to have a bunch of principles about carbon footprint and duty to consult, but if you’re faced with being America’s little bitch, principles don’t keep out arseholes clear of buggery from the White House.
In the face of an existential threat to Canada where our ability to make deals with other countries and protect our culture is on the line, our Prime Minister is getting the kind of cover with the Supreme Court that will likely make them look away.
So, to my ‘Merican friends who might act Canadian and say ‘sorry’?
There’s no need.
We will rise up from this much stronger than we ever have been.
Canada is currently poised to move from being a commodity based nation to a leader in supplying the materials that the WORLD needs.
Through insults and tariffs, Prime Minister T-rump has insulted us?
Sure.
But those insults, those cheap chirps from the penalty box have carried across centre ice and become the kind of ‘bulletin board material’ that has united our country and stiffened our resolve.
Instead of having an economy fully integrated with the US, we’ll diversify our trading partners and can likely have only 60% of our business dealings with the US.
This will result in better prices for Canadian goods on the world stage. And for my dear American friends, all y’all will face higher prices because you won’t be our only customer.
So, to my ‘Merican friends who might act Canadian and say sorry?
There’s no need.
Seriously. We’ve got this. We’re kicking asses, taking names and potting clappers bar down in the top corner where Granma keeps the cookies.
You came up here as guests. You were kind, curious and gracious. Some of you cried on my shoulder and told me how sorry you were.
And then you hugged me.
What the hell am I supposed to do with that?
Canada is discovering itself again. We’re finding some backbone, some pride, and maybe even the confidence to decide for ourselves what kind of country we want to be.
The insults and tariffs and cheap chirps from the penalty box have become bulletin-board material.
They’ve united us.
So thank you.
All this has reminded me how much I love Canada.
And how much I like Americans.
And how, despite our differences, we’re family.
Best of luck, all y’all.
Thank you, Prime Minister T-Rump.
Who knew, eh?
