tall grass turd rescue

and the enduring power of a nickname

When you're a man with short dogs, letting your grass grow tall makes turd capture much easier.

Their cigarillo sized turds get fall as normal. But instead of turning into a three coiled steemer, their tips meet the tree like grass and get caught up. The rest of the trud follows gravity. There they exist as turdy little stalagmites with the consistency of cookie dough.

To the uninitiated in the fine art of shoe preservation through fecal responsibility, these little brown and blood-streaked-foot-bombs can be hard to see. They’re pretty darn easy to mistake as a larger twig or a misshapen spruce cone. If missed, the consequences could be tragic.

I know a man who stepped in dog shit on his way to school in the third grade. He was given the nickname of ‘stinky’. It’s been forty years and we still call him that. Kids are cruel. Adults? We’re worse.

Poor old Stinky… At least he didn’t lose his shorts while swimming in May. Tiny is a large man. He hit his growth spurt early and was six foot …