taking compliments differently
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taking compliments differently
a remarkably foolish approach
We all have our talents.
We all have our superpowers.
As a therapist, one of my greatest strengths is connecting disparate bits of story, experience and information to see people in their strength, power and glory.
I’m pretty fucking good at this.
Frequently, people say things like Wow Jim, How did you do that? I’d never considered things this way before. You’re really good at this.
For a long time I went full Canadian false modesty. I’d lower my gaze, try to flush my face. Then? I’d merely thank them for the complement.
That’s what ordinary fools do.
BOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRIIIIING
bo bo bo
Ring the bell and get the hell out of here with the false modesty.
What’s worse, energetically it’s like letting the air out of a balloon. They feel filled with energy about a discovery. Then?
Pfffffffffttttt!
Half way through my time working clinically after that kind of compliment I started saying things like:
Hold on. I’m not good at this. I’m fucking great at this. This is why I get paid to do what I do. The shit I come up with? It would be a bargain at twice the price.
It’s the truth.
Where are you unnecessarily modest?
When do you know you’ve done well, but like some dumb Canadian jock hockey player, pull out the company line and spouted some terrible, Methodist infused false humility?
What would it be like if you pulled out a little gleeful arrogance when handed a compliment?
What would it be like if you were 10% less Canadian?
Try saying these words out loud. Shout them if you can:
I’M FUCKING GREAT!
And if people around you are consistently making arguments for the power of humility?
Go some place else. Find other people to be around. They are likely what Seth calls ‘well intentioned and chicken hearted critics’
Love the people who love you.
Fuck the fucking fuckers.
from ‘the practice’ by Seth Godin
taking compliments differently
Love the people who love you.
This is the perfect message for me today.
The one about the complements too, of course I demur and deflect, ricochet the good will right back to the complementer like a hot potato — right back atcha buddy!
But the love people who love you message? It’s serendipitously perfect. Thank you.
A friend pointed out that every time I received a compliment, I'd immediately boomerang one right back at the complimenter. It felt generous, but sucked all the power out of the compliment. Ever since we had that conversation, I now simply say thank you and allow myself to accept it fully. I like how your foolish approach takes it a step further, and will have to test it out!