I didn’t catch COVID. It feels more like an experience being ‘caught with covid’

I woke up yesterday feeling like the kid who got caught by the teacher holding the nasty note about that teacher that was being passed around and wasn’t in his handwriting but the teacher didn’t care, they just let him have it because what was written on the note was so insulting and mean that it sent the teacher into a blind, vengeful rage.

Does this make any sense at all?

Looking at the faint line on the rapid test, my sore throat and lack of voice suddenly made complete sense. I then realized that I was trapped with COVID.

Damn. Guilty as charged. This sucks.

It was as though Covid was the note, the hot potato, the empty vodka bottle, the package of rolling papers that your parents discovered. I knew it was going around. I knew that at some point in time it would land on me and I would ‘get it’.

I was caught. It caught me. Covid caught me totally by surprise. I didn’t want to be the one stuck holding onto this.

Which is funny because currently covid is as common as the common covid.

And yet?

Here I was, feeling embarrassed that I let some stranger slip me the covid.

I had Covid holding onto my lungs. My lungs were fighting a good fight, rejecting covid in yellow expulsions of mucus.

It’s weird though. I expected something different. It’s not a heavy, deep green hork of a cough. It’s a more dry than I expected.

Me?

I’m a productive guy, I prefer a productive cough - especially one that makes big green loogies that look like brains.

I was expecting great big green and grey brain loogies.

Perhaps I have a zombie fetish.

It’s like the old saying goes:

Sometimes you catch the cold, other times, the cold catches you. Stay healthy by making yourself slippery. Roll in lard - it will make it more difficult for the cold to get a grip.