The Remarkable Fools Letter

The Remarkable Fools Letter

Share this post

The Remarkable Fools Letter
The Remarkable Fools Letter
some notes from the field
Copy link
Facebook
Email
Notes
More

some notes from the field

Picking up dog shit on a crisp autumn evening.

Jim Dalling's avatar
Jim Dalling
Nov 16, 2021
∙ Paid
3

Share this post

The Remarkable Fools Letter
The Remarkable Fools Letter
some notes from the field
Copy link
Facebook
Email
Notes
More
Share

The first movement:

There are leaves everywhere.

The light is dim, my phone is charging, and I am not one of those ‘headlamp people.’

I grope around in the pile of crispy brown leaves.

Like a crispy crunch bar, searching for the warm, squishy chocolate amongst the golden-brown crispy leaves.

I hope that as I extract this feces from the leaves that a twig does not poke a hole in the bag. I don’t want to have a ‘squirt through’ again tonight.

The second movement:

The situation is dire.

He’s straining... 

Now? Now he’s spinning on his butt that kids head in Exorcist. He’s our little red exorcist doggy.

Now, he’s going to inflict hell on me.

I’ve dreaded this for years. 

Am I finally going to face the anal glands, 

Or who the hell do I pay to take care of this?

It’s midnight. Shit. I can’t pay anyone to squeeze my dog’s ass glands at this hour.

Could you imagine calling the midnight groomer for some late night butt gland squeezing.

That service would provide me with a sense of peace and well being.

I have…

Keep reading with a 7-day free trial

Subscribe to The Remarkable Fools Letter to keep reading this post and get 7 days of free access to the full post archives.

Already a paid subscriber? Sign in
© 2025 James Dalling
Privacy ∙ Terms ∙ Collection notice
Start writingGet the app
Substack is the home for great culture

Share

Copy link
Facebook
Email
Notes
More