some nonsense name stuff

pew pew pew! steve steve steve!

Awright!

Before I begin today’s composition, I will warn you, if you are a ‘Steve’, or know of a ‘Steve’ or are connected in anyway to a ‘Steve’ and are easily offended,

Welcome home,

Ease into your offense.

As from this point onward, I’m making fun of the ‘Steves’ of the world.

There is something about the name Steve that the names Steven or Stephen or even Stephan - for those contentially inclined - can ever hope to cover up or make up for.

Because when it comes to those names, they’re like cheap laminate in a shitty house. Everyone knows you picked it up at Happy Harry’s for like fifty cents per square foot on super sale clearance that’s why the rooms don’t all match but hey it’s better than it was before….

Ya see, there’s always something a little bit off about the name Steve.

Just say it quickly in a slightly high pitched voice.

Now say it again.

Repeat it quickly.

Now imagine that you’re a Stormtrooper.

What the hell is it like to have such terrible aim?

Steve Steve! Steve! Steve Steve Steve!

If there’s a moral of todays’ foolsletter?

When you’re doing business with a Sophisticated Steven? Remember, that fuckers a snot nosed little brat who thought he farted but shit himself back in the third grade.

Back then, he was Stinky Stevie and he ate bugs for money.

Yeah. Poor olde stinky steve got sophisticated. And yet?

His name said quickly makes him sound like the shots of a stormtrooper.

The more rigid the mask the more energetic the poltergeist.

Watch out for the more shadowy ghosts this Halloween Season.

Now go get dressed up and behave in ways you would never otherwise?

What the heck else do ya think those masks are for?