santa's second coming

in a van down by the river

Oh, fingers and toes, fingers and toes
Forty things we share
Oh, forty one if you include
The fact that we don't care

See when it starts to fall apart
Man, it really falls apart
Like boots or hearts, oh, when they start
They really fall apart, well, fall apart

Gord - Boots and Hearts

Everything all around me was finished. Bumpy roads had taken their toll. The parts that didn’t fall apart were being pillaged.

Me?

I was worried about my fingers and toes. The tailgate doors on these vans all had one of their hydraulic lifts removed so the door would stay shut. That’s great for protecting the carpets from the elements, but terrible when it comes to attempting to pull parts from the arse end of the van.

My fingers were not the only things risking removal. The van itself was precariously perched upon a series of old steel wheels. It liked it could fall off at any second. I was searching for something to make everything more secure.

That’s when, as if by magic, he appeared before me.

You really want to…