Welcome to the Remarkable Foolsletter
Longer form messages like this one will come out every Saturday morning.
Each week will feature a playlist, an odd video and a longer article.
Tomorrow? Tomorrow we start the game. Curious? Let me know down below in the comments.
Playlist of the week
Kruder and Dorfmeister on Spotify:
Years ago, I used to laugh at their names. There was something about the name Dorfmeister that made me chuckle. Really. Say it out loud. Do it. Try to say it a way that sounds serious. It’s ridiculous. If you are a Dorfmeister and you’re reading this? Thank you for letting me laugh at your incredible name.
Odd Video of the week
This is some superb oddball clowning.
Make sure your video starts at the 7:06 mark. Just watch the one routine with the two guys who walk out. I can’t attest to the quality of the rest of it…
Introducing The Book of Wrong Answers
I’ve decided to share with the world some ancient wisdom that I’ve been holding back for a while.
On a shelf in my house sits two identical looking books. They are ancient texts. The Book of Right Answers, and The Book of Wrong Answers.
These are some of the entries you’ll find in The Book of Wrong Answers
Remarkably Foolish Ways to Disrupt a Panic Attack
Find a weighted blanket. Go fully underneath it.
Jump in a lake. You’ll no longer be focused on the panic.
Push someone else in a lake. Your panic will be justified fear. Run.
Bite a dog. They’ll be just as confused as you are.
Go back to your weighted blanket. Fart. No farts? Force it.
Time your panic attacks. Try to make this one longer than the last one. Push it. Hard!
Shout Harrrrrd like one of those curling people.
Back to the weighted blanket. No fart yet? Push. Harrrrrrd!
Have a friend make fun of you. You’ll be pissed off (no longer panic), or laughing (no longer panic) or in tears because they hurt your feelings - no longer in panic.
Chew down a tree like a beaver would. Bleeding gums and chipped teeth will change the frame of focus for you and the panic will stop.
Think about all of your dead pets. You’ll cry. That’s were panic attacks go anyway. Why not get there more quickly?
Back to the blanket. What? You what? Ok. If that happened, are you still - You’re angry? I didn’t poop your pants for you…
Decide that right now is the time to shave your head. Get some clippers. Shave your head. This doesn’t work often. And? There’s nothing quite like sheering off a full head of hair to change your experience of the world.
Once bald: Get someone to rub your dome.
Go back to the weighted blanked. Cover yourself. Have the people around you hit the lump under the blanket with brooms.
I don’t know how this would work, but the image amuses me.
What to do if you are with someone having a panic attack?
Don’t panic. They’re not dying.
Comment below with any remarkably foolish ways that you wouldn’t want to use in order to disrupt a panic attack.