When I first owned a pair of Blundstone boots, I loved how they felt. They fit me so well. At the same time, in wearing them, I became ‘one of those people’ with those ‘boots’. I had a mental block between how well the boots fit and something around the story of ‘who I believed myself to be’.
Eventually, I settled into wearing them. Not long after that, they became my constant companions and my go to footwear.
Getting diagnosed with ADHD was similar. Instantly I knew. The label fit right away. The meth worked right away. I function better with the medication. Though not there yet, I function much better with it.
I took a risk and made my case to the tax people about the impact of ADHD on my life. My nurse practioner argued that it seemed to impact me to the point of being functionally disabled. Revenue Canada agreed.
Though this now means there are people and programs to help me, I’m really uncomfortable being ‘that kind of person’ - The kind of person who wears Blundstone boots?
Naw, now I’m the kind of person who qualifies for help, support and what not.
Though most of my life, I’ve been desperate for someone to help me bridge the gap of ‘I can understand it, see it, know it, but just can’t for the life of me do it.
Fifty years of being ‘lazy’ or disorganized, confrontational, rude, or non motivated or irresponsible…
Oh the list goes on.
That’s who I am. I’m not disabled. My brain is fine. I’m not normal.
I wear Vans, not Blundstones.
Have you ever found a pair of boots, put them on and had that feeling? You know, that feeling, the one where they fit so perfectly that you know that these are the best boots ever and you want to wear nothing other than those for the rest of your life?
And yet, despite how great they feel on your feet, when you see yourself wearing them, you feel awkward, disappointed or just alienated from yourself?
What’s something that you know to be true about you that if you just leaned into it a bit, you likely could have more ease in the world?
If the shoe fits, how do you wear it when the appearance isn’t to your liking?
Boots suits games sports books languages goodness.
I equated my blunnies and RM Williams boots with survival
nowadays I wear blunny knockoffs but I still have the 24-year-old pair of RMWs.
bubba bubba bubba
nice fail on the pic there openAI ha!