Problematic words and phrases
Like my Dodge Problematic down in the parking lot...
Everyone has words and phrases that irritate them.
Here are a few remarkably foolish ones
A few years ago, waiters were the worst.
“Can I grab you something from the bar?”
Grab?
Can you grab something for me?
Grab.
It’s such a low brow creepy word.
Grab is something I do with my testicles when I need to rearrange them.
Grab ass.
Grab bag
Grab and go.
Can I grab you…
No good can come from that phrase no matter how you complete it.
Never use ‘grab’ in a dining situation.
Grab a slurpee?
Grab and slurp.
Be careful with grabbing the moist pole.
I’m not even touching that one…
Again. No good can come from the word ‘grab’
Next?
Again, at a restaurant, the servers for a long time seemed to end their interactions with the word ‘perfect’.
Perfect?
My order was perfect?
This conversation was perfect?
There’s nothing perfect here.
Me: I’d like a chicken sandwich
Them: Perfect!
Perfect!
And all I had to do was order a sandwich?
Perfect!
No, wait, that’s wrong.
There’s not an exclamation point to be found in their sallow waite…
