Problematic words and phrases

Like my Dodge Problematic down in the parking lot...

Everyone has words and phrases that irritate them.

Here are a few remarkably foolish ones

A few years ago, waiters were the worst.

“Can I grab you something from the bar?”

Grab?

Can you grab something for me?

Grab.

It’s such a low brow creepy word.

Grab is something I do with my testicles when I need to rearrange them.

Grab ass.

Grab bag

Grab and go.

Can I grab you…

No good can come from that phrase no matter how you complete it.

Never use ‘grab’ in a dining situation.

Grab a slurpee?

Grab and slurp.

Be careful with grabbing the moist pole.

I’m not even touching that one…

Again. No good can come from the word ‘grab’

Next?

Again, at a restaurant, the servers for a long time seemed to end their interactions with the word ‘perfect’.

Perfect?

My order was perfect?

This conversation was perfect?

There’s nothing perfect here.

Me: I’d like a chicken sandwich

Them: Perfect!

Perfect!

And all I had to do was order a sandwich?

Perfect!

No, wait, that’s wrong.

There’s not an exclamation point to be found in their sallow waite…