It was an odd day at the pier dear reader.
Well. Not entirely.
The toilets were a bit strange though.
No, the stalls were not occupied by a pervy gap gawker havin’ a wank.
There were some wankers however.
Dear reader, I’m using the term wankers in order to show respect for the British.
As there were a lot of folks in town who were British.
And what I noticed?
In every stall in every men’s room that I visited that day, it looked as though the toilet seats had been covered.
Now dear reader, if you’re not from around here, paper toilet seat covers are unusual.
It seems that we Canadians are hardy in the arse department. We here in Nova Scotia are more than happy to rest our bare skin directly upon the plastic when we’re at work to brown up the porcelain.
But these Brits?
They were creating their own toilet seat covers out of the John Wayne toilet paper in all of the stalls. (Rough and tough and won’t take shit off anyone)
And these improvised butt barriers? They were cast aside all over the floors of all of the stalls.
The point dear reader?
Well, for one, how filthy must things be in Britain.
Are they over run with toilet herpes? Toilet seat AIDS?
Or maybe it’s time to send away the shrimp boats
Because folks are coming home from the mall with crabs.
And though I thought the squatting to drop logs in a hole in Lyon was weird,
This cultural tic?
It was spectacular.
Paper won’t protect you.
Instead dear reader?
Learn Ju-jitsu.