Once there is coffee

They cease to be assholes.

You know this person. You know the one, the one that maintains that they’re not human till coffee flows.

Hilarity!

You know who I’m talking about - those oh so funny assholes who use caffine addiction to justify being a giant pain until they get their coffee.

Despite being one of these people, I’ve never understood what makes us sour in the morning.

How is it possible to wake up grumpy?

What pissed you off? One minute, everything is joyful, covered, warm, safe and in bed - the best place in the world, the next moment? Frowns. Dark clouds. Threats of violence. Coffee creation. It’s a hell of a switch caused by merely placing our feet on the floor.

Are our feet so powerful, so sensitive that merely placing hem on a cold floor is enough to ruin a day?

It’s not like they expected to just stay in bed forever.

The thing about going to bed is pretty simple. You go there expecting to leave eventually.

Oh sure, you may hit the snooze button three or four times, but you know that at some time or anoth…