On wearing tank tops to weddings

and our fundamental rights.

So my dear reader, I’m still writing multiple jokes per day.

Here’s another bit I’ll be testing at an open mic night:

Wife’s been giving me a hard time lately—criticizes everything I do.

What I eat: “More vegetables.”
When I go to bed: “Don’t stay up so late.”
Now? What I wear.

We’re going to a wedding. Middle of summer. It’s hot. My buddy’s wedding—casual.

I want to wear a tank top.

Wife says no. “You can’t go looking like that. What would Mike say?”

I tell her: “He’s American. He believes in the right to bare arms.”

You’ve gotta be bad to be good.

And if that’s the case?

I’m well on my way.

What are you failing at lately?