On the origin of the universe
On the origin of the universe
The fifth force is irrational
The Fool’s Story of Creation
Adam and Eve and Larry
Humourist Brendan Gill once wrote that there’s not a shred of evidence in favour of the argument that life is serious.
With this in mind, we need new origin stories.
The current bunch are mostly too steady, too heavy, too reasonable for me.
So, without any further tire pumping, let’s do this.
How the hell did this who existence thing come into being?
In the beginning there was nothing… or there was everything. Everything and nothing were together united in a singularity.
That doesn’t make any sense
Said a voice from within or without. It’s quite difficult to make sense out of a singularity, out of everything.
One thing’s for certain, It’s crowded in here said Adam… I can’t tell my ass from your elbow
Or your rib from my tibia, chided Eve … That’s because it’s not your ass. Or your elbow. All are one ya knucklehead
Eve baby, pull my finger…
Adam! Come on. Are we really doing this again?
C’mon Eve, Pull my finger.
At this time Eve made the first mistake…
Wait a second… Wasn’t there a snake in this?
There was no snake. There was nothing. Just Adam and Eve and the singularity
Singularity?
And Adam was a big goof. And Eve fell for his stupid little joke. She pulled Adam’s finger.
Adam farted loudly. All creatures in the singularity? They laughed together at the same time.
Wow. said Adam, That was a big bang of laughter.
Wow said Eve, That sure was.
Hey! We’re no longer one said Eve.
Give me my rib back said Adam.
We're tearing apart! Everything is expanding! cried Larry, This has to stop – someone do something quick!"
But Adam and Eve just kept laughing.
Who the heck is Larry chirped Eve
Dunno replied Adam, ignore the dude.
We have to do something or who knows what will happen said Larry creating fear - though its' gravity still wasn't enough to stop the expanding universe.
But Adam and Eve just kept laughing
Knock it off you two – this isn't funny – you should be ashamed of yourselves, said Larry creating even more gravity though still not enough to slow the expansion.
Larry began to growl and gnash. Eve clammed up. Larry bit Adam. Adam howled in pain.
What did you do that for Larry?
Make things right Adam.
No problem Larry, I'll fix things right up. Pull my finger.
Larry pulled Adam’s finger. Adam farted again. Eve and Adam laughed even more. Larry tried to bite Adam again. Adam changed forms so Larry couldn't find him. Larry chased Adam all over the universe.
Adam kept changing shape.
Each time Larry found Adam he was greeted with a familiar refrain: Pull my finger. And each time Adam asked Larry to pull his finger, Larry fell for it. Enraged with Adam’s shape shifting pranks, Larry devised a clever plan. He invented death to trap Adam in one of his forms. He almost caught him too, but Adam was alerted to Larry’s plan by Eve. From then on, Adam transformed – but never completely – just enough to trick that hapless Larry...
The Big Bang was the first joke. Levity is irrational. It can not be measured or studied. And. It is the prime mover. The force that causes the continual expansion of the universe.
Life is absurd. We understand how gravity works. It’s rational. Humans can measure it. Levity? Irrational. And it’s what has kept me going even during the worst experiences of my life.
Levity? It helps us bounce back. We laugh at ourselves and, the absurdity of existence.
Where is the levity in your life?
One Derful Thing
This one was inspired by this great new creation myth.
It’s also an old unfunny joke.
As such, it offers a unique challenge.
How to make a joke as delicious as stale farts palatable to the general public once again.
Sure, it’s poo poo ka ka humour, but how can you make it funny and fresh?
How can you make it work? How can you pull it off?
So. Find someone. Have some farts ready.
Make the demand.
Pull my finger.
Don’t force things.
And?
Be sure to deliver.
Report back.
(recordings acceptable)
This is magical!
Where's the levity? I have been thinking about that over the last couple of days, so this is a coincidence, which of course doesn't exist.
I am a silly person, but the jury is out on funny. I will pick silly any day over funny. I was silly two days ago when I was at the end of a TEAMS meeting class that had stretched on, which is a bit unusual. I can't see my students, and often feel like a stage performer with lights in my eyes and an audience who is gagged and handcuffed. They can use chat to type a message, but rarely do as that gets attention, but won't interject on mic and you can't see their reaction or hear them groan or laugh. My day? Helen Keller does stand up.
I was reviewing a formula in a quiz that has an unexpected operator and someone messaged that despite my warning, they made that error. I again recommended that they ALWAYS copy the formula from an original source...never from memory. Silly struct and I decided they needed a laugh..."I don't look anymore, but I have been using it for nearly twenty years and besides....you can remember it to Aretha Franklin's R-E-S-P-E-C-T....and I sang..Cpv - Spv, dtc divided by r + d .... sock it to me...sock it to me..." I let that hang .... they can laugh with me or at me...it doesn't matter...they are likely laughing and you don't need to be Helen Keller to know that laughter makes things better. ( editorial note...Helen Keller had challenges most of us can't imagine and she had a wicked sense of humour....if you want to add disapproving comments, you need to laugh)
Yesterday, my son said he wanted me to look over an application letter for a summer job. He chides me, "...and I don't need criticism on my choice of sans serif font"...but he pronounces sans serif as sans "ser uf" rather than "ser eef". I gently corrected his mispronunciation. I could see embarrassment or discomfort and searched in a moment for a release...started singing, " I shot the ser uf, but I did not shoot the comic sans".
He laughed, wet eyes laughter, I laughed...not because it was funny but because my big laugh turbo charges his laughter; sang it again. He shakes his head and is now wondering how I exist as an adult AND he's not using negative self-talk about his mispronunciation. Job done. PS He is right, I was wrong...it's ser uf. I'll tell him today. Hopefully, he'll laugh.
Levity is a reset for your emotional and physical body. A little laugh will do you...but a big laugh will do you better.
Levity relieves discomfort. I tell people I come from a funny family. More precisely, I come from a family in discomfort. We learned to laugh. If the discomfort taught me how to be silly, the discomfort was worth it.