on the old waiter's favourite joke

num num num num num

When I was a teen, I worked as a dishwasher with a waiter who was a dirty old man. He must have been thirty, maybe thirty five years old. His favourite joke was to go up to one of the ladies we worked with and ask

Are your breasts numb?

When they replied no, he’d then say, well let me numb them for ya.

Then he’d pretend to eat them whilst saying num num num num

Rather than freeze their boobies, he’d end up waking them up. They’d shriek and objection. Some shot daggers at him with their eyes. Others even slapped him.

Some days I wonder how numb he was to put himself through this kind of vicious rebuke time after time after time.

I’ve met people who don’t remember much of what happens most days.

They move through life as numb as boobies in an icebox.

Maybe they needed to meet Richard and experience the energizing power of his generous offer to numb their boobies.

Perhaps he didn’t know the best way to wake people from sleep walking through life.

But really anything that slaps a person outta their screens and into the world or out of their heads and into their skin?

It seems like a good intervention to me.

Now go and num num some boobies you perverts.