on the irrational practice

of attempting to rationalize anxiety

Do you ever find yourself anxious for no reason at all?

Is it disturbing, anxiety provoking in fact, when you have hypersonic butterflies exploding in your stomach and you don’t know why?

Ordinary fools become anxious that they don’t know why they’re feeling anxious. The issue here? Ordinary fools don’t know my dogs Rodney and Ronan.

Rodney and Ronan are brothers, litter mates in fact. They are a fine mix of shit-sue, poodle, Jack Russel and Pomeranian. They have all of the worst qualities of those breeds. They are twitchy, nervous, nippy, yappy little ankle missals with anger aggression.

These guys, like many dogs love food. They love treats. They love going for walks, lying in the sun and having their tummies rubbed. Most of all though? They seem to love to bark. Love it? Maybe. That’s just something I’m inferring given how frequently I hear yaps from their pie holes.

They bark when they hear something. They bark when they see people passing the house. They bark when they smell other do…