on the grand unified theory of trucks and penises

and why you might not want to share this with your uncle

The life of a troll is rough.

The goal that we sub bridge dwellers aspire to is to regularly provoke people on purpose. We like to stick our fingers up the arse end of morality and civility for our amusement and pleasure.

Occasionally though, we are trollish unintentionally.

And this fool dear reader is no exception to unintentional offensiveness.

Before delving into a tale of humiliation and em-bare-ass-ment I need to set the stage with a bit of a theoretical framework around trucks.

Trucks dear reader are more than just vehicles. They are objects of both projection and compensation.

My truck for example is a bit stinky, old fashooned, highly functional, durable and has a solid frame despite some parts of the body that are rough around the edges.

This is a projection of how I see myself and my penis.

New trucks?

They’re fancy, full of screens, overpowered and highly sensitive. Sure they have a lot of bells and whistles but they are complex and difficult to work with. They make a lot of noi…