on the dripster and his puddle

MOAR COWBELL!

Oh dear. Your room mate is throwing up.

He’s throwing up?

Actually.

Actually?

Actually.

Ok. Let me deal with it. What happened Jim.

I responded in between heaves.

Eating chicken. I think it was the chicken. Likely.

My response was interrupted: more moaning and barfing.

Ok. Can you keep it down? We’re watching a movie.

I could see the dipsters drippy girlfriend rolling her eyes all the way through the cracked plaster and lathe walls of Hipster Hall.

I was soooo problematic.

What can I do?

We trolls have sensitive stomachs.

I remember the first time I had sam and ella. (salmonella dear reader, salmonella)

I was in the chunky soup apartment.

No we didn’t eat chunky soup it all the time.

It was all about the floors.

The floors were slanted and enchanted, so much so that the crooked rain, crooked rain that came through the leaky ceiling would flow down them like a river. When things were dry, we’d race soup cans down them.

My mom was outraged when she first saw the place

This place is a dump! We didn’t rai…