on the destruction of city property

signs signs everywhere signs...

There are no cars coming. Let’s go.

Joan paused as I strode across the street.

But the light says ‘don’t walk’.

Fuck the light. I don’t stand at stoplights - not when there are no cars around. Come on.

Flailing, Joan bounced after me and we crossed the intersection together.

That’s one for the book of phrases. Everytime I tell my wife something unbelievable you said, she writes it down. She says she could write a book.

I laughed. That’s my book - The Book of Wrong answers, a troll’s guide to arseing up everything.

She tells her friends about you. Neither one of us can believe that you stopped being a the rapist to wait on tables.

I smile when people say this to me. And? I have a standard reply.

I sleep a lot better these days. Sure my bank account is thinner, but my life is much richer now that I’m away from that ugly pit of scorpions.

We kept walking along the lake then through a wooded area. The wooded areas are currently closed due to wildfire threats.

This area?

It didn’t have a sign and Joan proceeded through without even noticing.

As we left the woods, three kids on e-scooters rolled up.

Hey, we can go this way now, the sign’s gone. They dropped the restriction here.

I smiled deeply. The sign’s gone because every time the city puts one up, I go back and tear it down. It’s a paved path beside a like with a few trees on one side between it and a concrete apartment complex.

First responders are not going to die from anal warts if I catch aids in a wildfire from a flatulating cricket on the path.

And the path that had been empty days earlier was filled with foot traffic.

I couldn’t help myself. Joan, that sign is gone because I ripped the fucker down. The city came back and put another one up and I ripped that one down too. It seems like they’ve given up.

She stared at me slack jawed. I continued.

It’s a ban on being in the woods. We weren’t in the woods. There were trees nearby but we were basically on a small paved road beside a lake. I’m not living my life based on protecting the world from the belief that people are stupid and can’t be trusted.

The world's a better place when people are given the freedom to fail.

And if you disagree?

Stay the fuck home and wait for some pre approved shrink wrapped big box store experience to be delivered to you by Mr. Bozoz.

I think the boomers forgot what their poets once said: Signs, signs everywhere signs, blockin’ out the scenery breakin’ my mind, do this don’t do that can’t you read the sign?

(not if I’ve thrown it in the bin you can’t motherfuckers)