on tall puppies

and the mutts nuts

Oh Lord, it's hard to be humble
When you're perfect in every way
I can't wait to look in the mirror
'Cause I get better lookin' each day
To know me is to love me I
must be a hell of a man
Oh Lord, it's hard to be humble
But I'm doin' the best that I can

Mac Davis,

Ah dear reader, it’s difficult to be me these days - a silver fox with cute buttox. It’s hard to know that you’re all that and a bag of chips - the mutts nuts and not hold your head a little more high because of it.

I’ve been struggling lately. You see, I’ve been doing a hell of a good job at work lately. I’m making better tips than my peers. My wit has people chortling. When the Frank-o-phones show up, I speaks to them in their language as best I can.

Online reviews are showing up mentioning me by name.

The big boss mentioned how I’ve gone above and beyond in an email to all of the staff.

And you know what this has done?

Nuthin!

Nuthin but causin’ me trouble. Since I arrived and started doing so well, folks around the restaurant h…