on survival over sympathy

when you're surrounded by people drowning in panic

TAKE MY HAND! I NEED HELP!

His voice still scrapes down the back of my spine. We were surfing at A-Bay in Toronto. Martin, a new surfer and father of two young children was caught in a nasty current.

The current was such that each time he caught his breath, he would get sucked out into choppy waters that pounded him down. I was a mere five feet away sitting safely on my board.

Martin was panicked.

HELP ME HELP ME HELP ME!

He was near tears with panic.

I sat and watched.

Paddle, I commanded. Paddle as though your life depends on it. Point your nose at the chop and paddle like a sonofabitch.

The current sucked him out for another round

Once spit out he continued:

oh please please please just help.

Unmoved I continued shouting: Paddle to the chop. Paddle through the chop. Let the current take you and add effort. Go where you don’t want to and you’ll be free.

He listened. He paddled to safety.

Back on shore he was livid. He said some bullshit about a ‘surfers code’ and that I let him down.

The next swell he texted asking where I was planning to surf.

I never responded.

That was fifteen years ago and still it haunts me. People are drowning all around us all the time.

If they catch hold they’re likely to drag you to the bottom in the panic.

Be careful not only in choosing where you ‘surf’ but who you ‘surf’ with if you want to keep breathing.