On pulling a Brittney

and owning your mistakes

Dear reader, I’m ashamed to inform you that recently, I pulled a Brittney.

Oops, I did it again.

No, I didn’t drive with a baby on my lap.

Well.

Not recently.

My kids are all grown up.

But my Brittney, my repeated mistake that I ought to have known better?

I arsed up, spent money, made a mistake and now I’m unwilling to walk away.

I made business cards for my walking tours.

I even got Canva to show me a PDF proof.

I proofread this proof.

I did this, I swear!

But if this were to be brought in front of a judge, there would be no proof that I proofed my cards.

The evidence in fact directly indicates that I did not.

The question as to whether I did or did not proofread my business cards doesn’t matter.

What does matter?

The result.

I thought I was creating five hundred business cards with the words:

Jim Dalling

Offbeat Halifax

Walking Tours

That’s not what was printed.

What was printed was this:

Jim Dalling

Offbeat Halifax

Wallking Tours

Right?

Canva doesn’t have that wiggly little red line.

Fuckers.

So, what do I do?

These cards, they cost me a hundred bucks.

This is a hundred bucks I don’t need to be spending twice.

So I’m not throwing them away.

Instead?

I’m writing on them.

Every damn one of them.

The first?

I wrote this: I proofread these - I swear

I did that in my horrible hen scratch using a fine liner.

Then?

Then I started having fun.

Find the typo, win a free dad joke.

There’s a reason I’m a tour guide not a lawyer

Many of them I just wrote:

Perfectly imperfect

So yeah, I’m going to use them.

I figure they’ll keep the arseholes away and help the people who need to find me, find me.

I like this approach but I’m a bit nervous about it.

I mean, I’m handing out a business card with a typo on it and a hand scrawled note of:

Yup, typos irritate me two.

Too authentic or just spot on?

Lemmie know.

Also?

If you spot a typo and point it out in the comments?

I’ll tell you a dad joke.

If you find two typos?

You’re being pedantic and need to calm down.

One final thing.

I call this a Brittney because this isn’t the first time.

When I toured the Canadian Fringe circuit decades ago, I printed hundreds, maybe even a couple thousand posters that said saveage clowning.

Because back then, photo editing software didn’t have a wiggly red line underneath the word saveage.

Back then, I just tried to hide the fact that I had printed thousands of posters that cost hundreds of dollars and this was how I was going to present myself to the public.

It took two cities - over a month of touring - before someone was decent enough to point out my mistake.

After that?

I covered that part of the poster with a taped on sticker.

That hid my mistake but deep down, I knew I had made it.

I felt pretty ashamed.

Now though?

I’m a middle aged man.

I’m an idiot who tells good stories but is bad at proofreading and too impulsive to get someone else to check out my work.

I’ll live with the mistake.

Better yet,

I’ll have fun with it.

That’s how I handle the tours I lead.

So I figure I’ll put that right there.

My acceptance of perfect imperfection will be proudly on display as I face the world.

And based on my past experiences?

This is likely a terrible idea that no one should follow.

It likely won’t make me rich.

But I like the joke and that’s good enough.

And if you, dear reader, think that I’m being cheap by not just getting more business cards printed I have this request. Send me a hundred bucks.

Hell,

All of you send me a hundred dollars and your mailing address and I’ll send you a perfectly imperfect business card as a reminder that everybody poops.

Poops, I did it again.

Stay steady and insist with piss you fools!