On professional irresponsibility

and breaking branches in a big, bright van covered in colourful logos and stickers

Some say, that one of the keys to success is to eliminate distractions in your life.

But me?

I am not one of those people.

I don’t care that much about ‘success’. I’m not chicken with an overly stretched asshole.

If this reference isn’t clear, please read the post from yesterday…

Regardless, this last year has been one of removing noise from life.

Noise like social media, owning a rental property, attempting to keep some sort of peg in the ground with a career that really didn’t suit me etc…

The noise was deafening.

It was disorienting.

Looking back, I don’t think I’ve known my arsehole from an anvil these last five? No, I haven’t known my arsehole from an anvil these last fifty odd years.

I was told much of my life that I am irresponsible.

So, I’ve decided to fully commit to being irresponsible.

So here I am, professionally irresponsible.

I can show up and do simple jobs, but I can’t be trusted to think, decide or manage much more than to drink coffee.

Today?

We broke off some low hanging branches with the truck backing into a driveway.

The dude who lived there was watching and came out livid.

He said something to me about something. He was an angry bald man acting tough.

I laughed and said do I look like the driver to you? I’m the helper. Talk to the driver.

He nearly spit with frustration.

I smiled, told him to have a great day, got into the van and Ricky drove us away.

It was GLORIOUS.

And even better?

It was true.

I wan’t the one who drove the truck into the tree branch.

I’m professionally irresponsible.

And?

I’m just along for the ride.

Zoom, zoom motherfuckers!